M.S.

Rush
When I was a freshman at UGA, I went through the rush process. In all honesty, it’s designed to break girls down. It’s essentially a popularity contest that ends with hundreds of young women having their hearts broken. Even if you do end up in a sorority, knowing that 18 other houses of girls didn’t want you makes you feel worthless. 
Philanthropy day during rush is when sororities introduce their philanthropy to recruits. It is supposed to be a day for members to identify girls who care about that particular philanthropy. However, it becomes more of a show. Who can pretend well enough that they like this sorority’s philanthropy? Who can act like they care? Sororities aren’t necessarily interested in someone who is passionate about their philanthropy. They just want someone who can act like they are. If they can’t pretend, then they don’t belong. When I was a potential member, I remember feeling forced to cry. My roommate told me that you’re supposed to cry because crying gets you into sororities. And, later on, as a member of a sorority, I can tell you it’s true. When I was recruiting, we expected girls to show some type of emotion or at the very least connect with and show interest in our philanthropy. But, it’s awkward to cry. You’re talking to a bunch of strangers about serious topics. It’s uncomfortable; there’s no privacy or confidentiality. On philanthropy day, sororities also want to know about the personal connections you have with their philanthropy. This requires talking about topics that might be very difficult or topics that you really don’t want to open up about. I remember feeling forced to talk about my experience with eating disorders. I wasn’t ready to share that information with anyone, but I was so desperate to have a home and a family here in Athens that I was willing to do things I was uncomfortable with. I just thought it was normal. After all, thousands of other girls were doing the exact same thing. 
Mental Health / Fatphobia
After rush, I was planning on joining a sorority. But, right before induction, I decided to drop. A year and a half later, I went through a period of intense depression. I was extremely lonely. At that point, I didn’t have many friends. I felt like I didn’t have anyone anymore. I missed the feeling of sisterhood, and I hoped for unconditional love from people I could count on. So, I decided to try and rush in the Spring for the same sorority I had dropped. At the end of the Spring rush, I went to bid day, feeling excited. But, I had gained a lot of weight, and they didn’t have any t-shirts that fit me. So, I had to decide whether I would wear a shirt that was too tight and made me feel extremely uncomfortable or have to wear the clothes that I came in. Ultimately, I decided to go with what I wore because that’s what I was comfortable in. But, that made me stand out from every single other girl at the sorority house that night. I was visibly different, and I absolutely hated myself. I went home and spent the night crying and wishing I were skinner. I felt completely inferior. 
Although I had hoped joining the sorority would help end my depressive episode, it didn’t. But, that didn’t matter to my sorority. It was hard enough to get out of bed and go to class, much less to go to meaningless events where I just felt so fat, ugly, and different. So, I started going to less and less events. Even though I wasn’t participating, no one really checked on me. Although I thought I had sisters to help me and support me, they really didn’t care about me as a person as long as I was spending the money to keep the sorority going. All I wanted was a home with people who cared about me. I wanted to be accepted for who I was. I didn’t want to be lonely and depressed anymore. But they didn’t (and probably couldn’t) help me. 
Classism
The summer of my first recruitment, my parents had spent a great deal of their own money, which we couldn’t necessarily afford, sending me on a study abroad. Afterwards, I didn’t have enough money left over to pay for the extremely specific clothes they wanted me to wear for recruitment. Additionally, it is very difficult to find those clothes, especially cheaply or in Athens, while being a plus-size woman. I was told that I had to get them. That I couldn’t just miss rush or I would have to pay a fine. So, I spent what money I could on Shein getting as cheap clothes as possible. Missing rush would have cost much more money, and there would not have been a way for my family or I to have paid those fees. 
Although I joined my sorority knowing that it cost a good deal of money for membership. But, my parents and I were hoping that this would be a meaningful investment into my mental health. However, during this time, my parents started struggling to pay for all my expenses, and I ended up having to get a job to help pay for the sorority. I remember asking members before I joined if I would be able to put school and work first. They told me that it wasn’t a problem and that school should always be my first priority. However, they wouldn’t allow work or school to be an excuse for missing an event. And, if you miss an event without having an excuse that they deem valid, then you get fined. But, often, going to work, having homework, and just being generally depressed meant missing events. So, the fees started building up, putting more pressure on me and my parents. Ultimately, I was completely fed up. I told them I was leaving and that I wouldn’t be paying for the events I was missing. But, they charged me anyway, threatening to send me to a collections agency. So, instead of spending the money I needed on gas and food, I was spending it on an organization that was just trying to make as much money off of me as possible, even when I explained the situation. 
Structural 
I wanted to share my experiences to raise awareness for the structural problems that are extremely prevalent in Greek Life. My goal is not to cause harm to some of the wonderful people I did meet during my time in a sorority. I did have positive experiences, and I met some amazing women. The point of sharing my story is to show the structural inequalities and problems that are systemic in Greek Life. No sorority or fraternity is immune. Individual sororities and Greek Life as a whole reinforce, spread, and normalize many damaging and oppressive systems. The necessary changes that must be made will have to come at the expense of Greek Life. Simply reforming it isn’t enough. Greek Life has to be abolished.